FanFic Fight Scene

In February, the monthly Fantasy Faction writing contest was to take a couple characters from popular fantasy, and make them fight! Finally, I get to address the Conan vs. Drogo controversy.

sort of like the summary above alludes to, i relished this opportunity to address a terrible grievance cast upon the world. this one, right here:

comic-con, 2011

in the first 30 seconds of that video, something so very wrong gets spoken, that it made me literally cry out and stomp my feet in outrage.

there is no goddamn way drogo would beat conan in a fight.

take, for example, the most relevant detail: drogo lives in a gritty, realistic world. conan lives in over-the-top crazy town. ffs, conan snapped the neck of a bull when he was a teenager! with his bare hands!!!

(note, i’m talking about literary conan here, not ah-nahld conan)

it’s like saying, who would win in a fight — wolverine or mike tyson in his prime? duh.

anyway, my entry this month explores the topic.

i’ve recreated it here, for your fancy reading: Bulls and Horses

Even More Clarion

This is the second story as part of my application to the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers’ Workshop at UC San Diego

here we go again! the second of my entries to that fancy clarion workshop thing.

this time, it’s a short story about some poor woman, broken and suffering after crashing to the ground — if only she’d not botched the assassination attempt.

Stress Fracture Excerpt

Applying to Clarion

I’m putting together an application for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers’ Workshop at UC San Diego

wait — what is clarion, you ask? here’s what they say:

Clarion is an intensive six-week summer program focused on fundamentals particular to the writing of science fiction and fantasy short stories. It is considered a premier proving and training ground for aspiring writers of science fiction, fantasy, and horror. Instructors are among the most respected writers and editors working in the field today. Over one third of our graduates have been published and many have gone on to critical acclaim. The list of distinguished Clarion alumni includes Ed Bryant, Octavia Butler, Bob Crais, Cory Doctorow, George Alec Effinger, Nalo Hopkinson, James Patrick Kelly, Vonda McIntyre, Kim Stanley Robinson, Martha Soukup, Kelly Link, Bruce Sterling, and many others.

apparently, they only take 18 people each year. well, here goes nothing…

i’m working through two of my short stories right now for submission. in theory, they’re supposed to represent my best work to date.

you tell me if you think it is.

here’s the opening scene for a story about guns and dragons (it’s like peanut butter and chocolate!): Hearts of Fire Excerpt

Breaking the Fourth Wall

January’s Fantasy Faction writing contest was all about breaking the fourth wall in your story. Oh yeah!

so it turns out this month’s fantasy faction contest was to write a story about breaking the fourth wall. wikipedia has a pretty good description of just what that means if you’re not familiar.

long story short (ha! see what i did there?!?), it’s a device that works well with comedy.

i can totes do funny.

so, yeah, this month was fun to write. originally, i was planning on doing a zombie hunter thing — had a great nugget of an idea that i may revive (see? funny!) later. that’s when i remembered a conversation my d&d guys and i had ages ago. it involved dragons, so, of course, i wrote about dragons. finally, here it is: But, I’m a F#@%ing Dragon!

Oooh, Look! YACB!

Yet another Chapman Blog — This time, for reals!

it seems like at least once a year, i fire up a new blog. since it’s usually just for the sake of trying out a new blogging platform, most of them don’t even get past the first post.

however, this one is different! i actually have a legitimate reason to blog now!

lookit me! i’m a writer!

at least, i’m doing it as a easy-to-put-down-and-pick-back-up outlet for this wellspring of creativity i have going. and i’ve always enjoyed writing, so getting deeper into the craft is cool.

what kind of stuff am i going to write?

nice of you to ask! basically, i’m a genre writer — mostly fantasy. maybe a little sci-fi. maybe a little horror. hell, i may even get into that weird urban stuff.


what’s with the weird domain? topher chapman? what?!

so, now that i’m well on my way to becoming one of those super-famous writers, i was thinking it was time to stake out a mostly recognizable and sorta-kinda unique pen name.

it came down to a choice between “topher chapman” or “astropants starshine” — so you can tell which side of THAT fence i came down on.

what are all these old posts?

since i’ve got lots of random writing laying around all over the place from some 20 years of blogging, (i started back when they were called “online diaries” and they had a ‘~’ in the url mapping to my home directory — ahhhh… the good ol’ days) i figured i’d reach out and grab a few of the more pertinent, and less aggro-inducing posts and copy them over here.

or maybe just any old thing that seems interesting.

anyway, drop me a line if you have any comments or such. i’d love to hear them.

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About Topher Chapman

i like to write.

well... and paint. and program video games. and model economies. and run, surf, play football, etc. basically, i'm one of those irritating polymaths. my achilles heel, however, is obviously capitalization.

this is me, hurling my writing at you.

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